Learning the Three R’s: Relationship vs. Religion

 

Legere et scribere et numerare discitur. – St. Augustine, Confessions (‘learning to read, and write, and do arithmetic')


After reading my essay A Tale of Two Trees, some readers suggested it was too religious. While I appreciate the feedback, that reaction/response would not be what I want people to take away from the essay. Which led me to ponder the concept of Relationship vs. Religion, in the context of what God is seeking with each of us as individuals. The Scriptures tell us that God has created us in His Image, breathing into our being the spirit of life that emanates from His Being. The Scriptures also tell us what God requires from each of us: What does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. (Micah 6:8). The last part of that verse is essential: to walk humbly with your God. When you think about going for a walk, you usually are walking with someone, like a friend (whether it be a human or a dog). Going for a walk in the park, or on the beach, or down a city street or in a neighborhood taking in the sights – an endeavor that usually involves conversation. Conversations that can be for fun or to discuss something that’s weighing on your mind or to share thoughts and observations and ideas; or just walking quietly together, enjoying the presence of companionship. The point is that the walk is about relationship – walking side by side with someone who cares about you and is interested in sharing time and conversation with you. That’s the kind of relationship God, our Heavenly Father, wants with each of us, His cherished children. God is our friend. And Jesus was clear what friendship means: No greater love than this, that one would lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:13). Jesus exemplified that standard and He drives the point home by referring to us as “friends.” It’s essential to emphasize that point: Jesus is describing a friendship – He is focused on having a relationship. 

Using the approach of the “three R’s”, the basis for Religion is Rules, Regulations and Rituals. For Relationship it is Repentance, Redemption and Reconciliation. God is all about relationship - God rejects religion for the sake of fulfilling an obligation or a sense of duty. In the New Testament, Jesus held His harshest criticism for the religious authorities and leaders of the time. In contrast to that position, Jesus’ kindest and most compassionate words were reserved for the seemingly hopeless sinners that He encountered. 

There is no greater example of this than the encounter with the woman caught in the act of adultery. The Pharisees brought a woman to Jesus and presented him with this narrative: the woman was allegedly caught in the act of adultery, and according to the law of Moses, the penalty for her sin was to be stoned to death. They challenged Jesus: “Master, what do you say? Is it right to stone her?” It was, of course, a trap. If Jesus conceded that it was appropriate to stone her, He would have violated Roman law, for at the time, only a Roman court could mete out a death penalty, and Jesus would be accused of usurping the Government Establishment. If Jesus were to say no, that it was not appropriate, then the Pharisees would have accused Him of undermining Mosaic law, and they would have accused Him of being a blasphemer. 

A woman lay prone on the ground, surrounded by men holding rocks and stones, her very life being threatened. For her, everything hung in the balance of what this new rabbi/preacher who was growing in popularity and renown, was going to say. 

How did Jesus respond? He did not respond with a Rule, Regulation or Ritual. He responded with Relationship: “Let he among you who is without sin, let him cast the first stone.” The Scriptures say that beginning with the oldest, the men dropped their stones, and silently walked away, one by one. The point being that the oldest had the longest list of sins to reflect upon, and realized the hypocrisy of wanting to punish a fellow human being with a horrific form of death. 

But that wasn’t the end of the story. Jesus went over to the woman and lifted her up, and asked her, “Woman, where are your accusers? Has no one condemned you?” The woman he replied “No one, sir.” And Jesus responded, “Then neither do I condemn you. Now go, and leave your life of sin.” 

Jesus, as the Son of God, had the authority to judge and condemn the woman, in accordance with the commandments that had been given to Moses. But Jesus chose Relationship over Religion. Instead of attacking her with Rules, Regulations and Rituals, He instead offered her Repentance, Redemption and Reconciliation. He didn’t condemn her, He told her to repent of her sins, and He sent her off with a clean slate. God doesn’t want Religion – God wants Relationship. 

The most central person in the Hebrew Scriptures is David, a shepherd boy who defeated Goliath and became the greatest king of Israel. The Scriptures describe to us in God’s own words why David was so special: God referred to David as “a man after mine own heart.” High praise indeed. To that end, in the New Testament, Jesus is referred to as the “Son of David” and some of the Gospel writers go into detail to trace that connection along the Davidian line. I bring up David because he was the writer of some of the greatest Psalms in the Bible. These Psalms are indicative of why David was called by God “a man after mine own heart.” The Psalms are an intimate dialogue between the Lord and David. They are indicative of what God really desires with each of us: a close, personal, intimate relationship of love and friendship. If David is grateful and joyful, he rejoices with God. If David is angry and frustrated, he vents to God. If David is despairing and sad, he seeks solace from God. If David is fearful and lonely, he turns to God for refuge. If David is guilty and remorseful, he pours himself out to God for forgiveness and restoration. God is David’s friend – with whom David has the deepest and most compassionate relationship. It’s the kind of relationship God desires from each of His children. 

The most powerful example of God’s love for us as our Heavenly Father is the story of the Prodigal Son. The Prodigal Son, after taking his inheritance and squandering it foolishly on riotous and lascivious behavior, finds himself alone and depraved and friendless in a foreign land. He ponders the reality of his situation, and decides he will humble himself, return to his father’s house, beg forgiveness, and simply request if he could be welcomed back as a hired servant. And so, he heads back home. The Scriptures tell us that while the son was yet a way off, the father sees his son in the distance. The point here being that the father was always on the look out for his son, hoping his son would return home to him. The father upon seeing his son, runs to his son, so full of joy that his hope was being realized. The son, for his part, falls to his knees and pours out his heart to his father, acknowledging the folly of his sinful pride, and begging for forgiveness (Repentance). The father’s response: he hugs and kisses his son repeatedly, calls for a new robe to be put on his son, a ring to be placed on his finger, and the fatted calf to be prepared for a feast to end all feasts (Redemption). His son who was lost, is now found; his son who was dead, is now alive again, and has come home to him (Reconciliation). 

God is all about Relationship: Repentance, Redemption, and Reconciliation. The hymn that best captures this Relationship is Song of Hosea/Come Back to Me – the words best illustrate how God the Father views His relationship with his children: 

Come back to me with all your heart

Don’t let fear keep us apart

Trees do bend though straight and tall

So, must we to others’ call

Long have I waited for your coming home to me and living deeply our new lives…

The wilderness will lead you/to the place where I will speak

Integrity and justice with tenderness you shall know 

Long have I waited for your coming home to me and living deeply our new lives…

Put aside Religion. Embrace Relationship. God is love and the heart of His law is mercy. Something we can all relate to. 

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Religion, the Church, and the Bridegroom

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A Tale of Two Trees