My brother Michael is dying to live forever…
Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live.” - John 25:11
Today, December 4, is my older brother Michael’s 64th birthday. While birthdays are typically marked as happy occasions, this particular birthday is somewhat bittersweet. For it is likely the last time that we who love Michael, will be able to celebrate his birthday with him on this earth.
About a year ago, Michael was diagnosed with liver cancer. Sadly, the cancer has progressed to Stage 4 and in late October, the doctors advised him that he only has three to six months left to live.
Michael is dying.
For the time being, he is at home, in the care of his loving wife Sharon, with the good folks of hospice making daily visits to ensure he is as comfortable and pain-free as possible. For the prior year, family and friends have been calling, visiting, and fervently praying for a miracle. During this time -from the initial diagnosis of cancer, throughout the chemo treatment, the endless bloodwork and tests, the weekly paracentesis to treat his ascites, with the gradual diminishment of his internal organs and his physical strength, his loss of independence, and the advancement of the cancer - Michael has maintained a positive attitude, his self-deprecating sense of humor, a stoic stance toward the pain and suffering but most of all his steadfast faith in God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
Because despite all of the struggles, suffering, disappointment, heartbreak, fear, stress, and physical deterioration, Michael knows at the end of this journey, he is dying to live forever.
Yes, Michael knows that he is going to die. For Michael is well aware of the realities of the human condition when it comes to life and death – familiar is he with the words from the Epistle to the Hebrews: For it is appointed for a man to die once… (Hebrews 9:27). But Michael also knows that he will live again. And that he will live forever in the presence of He who gave him life to begin with: Michael will live an eternal life in the presence of He who is Love.
For some of those who have spoken and/or have spent time with Michael throughout this past year, it has been, to a certain degree, a different experience. From the moment Michael received the diagnosis, he has expressed his faith in God, and the acceptance of whatever God has ordained for his life, and the purpose that God is seeking to fulfill through Michael’s life, even at this moment in time. Especially at this moment in time. Whether joking with the nurses and doctors, in conversations on the phone or visits from family and friends, Michael will not give in to self-pity or let those in his presence express any negativity or sadness. He does not complain about his situation or feel sorry for himself and will not allow bitterness, resentment or anger to have a stronghold in his demeanor. If anything, he is frustrated with the thought of being a burden to others and his inability to do the things he enjoys most in his life: cooking and serving others - being there for other people and helping out in whatever way he could.
My brother Michael has always had a servant’s heart. For those who truly know my brother, they would agree that Michael is generous to a fault. Of the many values that our parents instilled in their children, sharing with others has got to be at the top of that list. And of all my siblings, Michael was the most generous in sharing and opening up his heart and home to others.
So, yes, I marvel at the unyielding faith and determined hope that Michael has in God and in accepting the inevitability of his death as his body continues to breakdown. Every time I call Michael on the phone, he always answers in a tone and manner that makes me forget he is dying of cancer. And for those who have had cancer, or have had family and friends who have battled cancer, in both instances – as the cancer-stricken loved one, or the family and friends who abide with that loved one – the suffering is real, it is intense, and it is heartbreaking. Yet Michael refuses to give in to any sense of despair. He simply says that he is in God’s hands and that he is ready whenever God calls him home.
Unyielding faith. Determined hope.
The reader may ponder, doesn’t Michael want to live? Without a doubt.
For Michael has so many reasons to live. First and foremost, his family. Michael deeply loves his wife Sharon, and their four children – Michael Caleb, Nathaniel, Michele and Matthew, and their grandchildren – Bryce, Marie, Owen, Eden, and Michael. Michael loves his siblings, his many cousins, nephews, nieces and his many friends. Now to be clear, Michael hasn’t abandoned hope. But he realizes at this point, if it is God’s will for him to continue life on this earth, then God is going to have to intervene. Michael knows that God can do anything. For Michael knows above all else the power and truth of the following Scripture verse:
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. – Romans 8:28
My brother Michael, like all of us, is far from perfect and would be the first to profess that fact. Although he has fully embraced the promise of Romans 8:28, I am sure that in the quiet moments, when he has his thoughts to himself, he feels a profound sadness and likely entertains some doubts. Even Jesus, the Son of God, the Lord and Savior, in the Garden of Gethsemane, revealed the depth of his humanity, in not wanting to suffer and die:
And He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, where He knelt down and prayed, “Father, if You are willing, take this cup from Me...” (Luke 22:42)
Jesus did not have to die, for He had no sin. Death is for the sinful as the apostle Paul writes in the first part of the verse in Romans 6:23 – For the wages of sin is death… (Romans 6:23)
But Jesus had a choice. And in His next breath, Jesus makes his choice: “…yet not my will but your will be done.” Jesus chose obedience and deference to the will of God. Trusting in God the Father whom he loved, and fulfilling the purpose of his life: the redemption of all who would believe in his death and resurrection.
It is because of Michael’s belief and faith in Jesus’ death and resurrection that Michael can lay claim to the promise made in the second part of Romans 6:23: …but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus.
For these reasons, Michael can have confidence that no matter what happens to him in this life, he is assured of eternal life in heaven, first and foremost, with God, and then with all those believers Michael knew and loved before they left this earth - people like our mom and dad, and our aunts and uncles. Michael can take great comfort in knowing that he is leaving this earth to be re-united with our Lord and Savior but he has assurance that he will also be re-united with all those whom he loves who share that same faith and hope and love for Christ Jesus.
But still, there is the here and now, and the pain and the suffering that Michael is going through on a daily basis. Even worse than the physical agony, is the emotional heartbreak of knowing he will be saying good-bye and of being separated, if only for a time, from all those who are alive and whom Michael dearly loves. It is this strain on the heart and mind that likely takes the most toll. I am reminded that Michael is experiencing the pain and hurt that the man Job, a servant of God, experienced according to the Scriptures. I am sure at times in his quietest of moments, in his loneliest of moments, Michael ponders the why’s of his health, while contending with the how’s, who’s, when’s and what’s of his overall human experience and the life he has lived that has led to this point in time. And like Jesus in Gethsemane, Michael wants God to take it all away, if it be God’s will. But no matter what, Michael clings to his unshakeable faith and trust in God, and rightly proclaims the words of Job:
But I know my Redeemer lives, and in the end He will stand upon the earth. Even after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God. I will see Him for myself; my eyes will behold Him, and not as a stranger. How my heart yearns within me! (Job 19:25 – 27)
I believe my brother Michael, like David, the shepherd king of Israel, has a heart after God’s. And that’s all God really desires from Michael, from me, from all of those who are His children. What else do we have to offer the Creator of the universe, the Creator of existence itself, who blesses us each and every day with life? As the lyrics from “All Good Gifts” (Godspell) so succinctly and perfectly describes it:
No gifts have we to offer for all thy love imparts
But that which thou desirest, our humble thankful hearts!
Death is a great equalizer. It comes for everyone: rich and poor, great and small, wise and ignorant, strong and weak, old and young. It doesn’t matter what status one has achieved in life nor does it matter what one has accomplished, nor does it matter what one possesses. My birthday wish for my brother Michael is that he remembers that all these notions are vanity. Success and failure, winning and losing, first and last – God doesn’t measure our worth on any of these notions. And my wish is for my brother Michael to take consolation in the words of the prophet Micah who unequivocally and emphatically states just what God requires of His children:
He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. (Micah 6:8)
In my life, my brother Michael has been one of the people who has embraced and exemplified these words of life, has truly taken them to heart. As perfectly imperfect as my brother Michael is - no more than I or our brothers and sister, mind you – he has never waivered in his faith in God, in the hope that he places in God our Savior, and the love he has for our Lord. Michael has sought to live his life being fair to others, to recognizing the loving mercy God has shown him and to share that mercy and forgiveness with others, and to live a life of humility and service to others. And while it makes me sad to see my brother Michael suffer through this horrific time, and it will make me sadder still to have to say good-bye, even for a time…I take great comfort in knowing that when the time comes for the Lord to call Michael home, Michael’s spirit will leave this old world and shall fly into the loving embrace of Jesus. And at that moment, Michael shall know complete and perfect love as our Lord hugs him with His healing touch and whispers into Michael’s ear…
Welcome home! Well done, thou good and faithful servant…
Happy birthday, bro!
